


It's Time To Say Goodbye...

by VinylPilots



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Depression, Gen, Self Harm, Suicide, suicide letter, suicide note
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 13:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4830854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VinylPilots/pseuds/VinylPilots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...to the Earth and now my worthless life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Time To Say Goodbye...

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I'm so sorry I wrote this at like 7 in the morning after being up all night ignore the typos and I'm so sorry this even exists why did I do this.

It feels weird, finally writing this out. I've thought about doing it so many times that it's coming so naturally. Thats sad. Why now though? Why after what would probably have been the most succesful tour of my career? Why not even a year after i'd been married? To avoid the inevitable cliche of this letter im going to bypass the whole "It just got to be too much" charade and come right out with it. I was never supposed to be born.

I don't mean that in the typical teenage emo sense of the phrase where the world is this awful place with awful people, but in the way that i literally _was not_ supposed to be born. Its like it was some universal accident that i was created, like my existance was nothing more than some freak chemical reaction. The way I see it, my life was just one big cosmic joke.

Yeah, of course there were ways that I scraped by in life. Music being one of the few. Something far too beautiful for any human to deserve. So underappriciated, so ignored by most of society. I also had great friends, and a beautiful wife. All people whom I didn't even come close to deserving. But the fans, they almost made life worth while.

To my family: I'm sorry. But are any of you really surprised? I do want to thank you. For trying your hardest to deal with me, for showing me the kind heart of God, for introducing music into my life. Mom, Dad, don't think this is your fault. It was never your fault. Maddie, Jay, Zack, take care of them.

To Mark: From the very start, you've been there. From the early days of the first album to some of my final moments, you've made things almost bearable. You were smart enough to not let me live on my own for the good portion of my adult life and if that hadn't been the case, I would have been gone years ago.

To Jenna: Darling, this breaks my heart. You were my one, my only, I'd have died for you... And I am. You don't deserve someone like me, like this. Your life needn't be consumed by trying to take care of me, by holding me in the middle of the night while I cry over who knows what. I love you enough to leave you, and I would have done so much more for your happiness. Eventually, I hope you'll forgive me. Maybe years from now we will see eachother again, if we end up in the same place.

To Josh: I know you, I know you'll be angry. After everything you've done to try to help me, I go and kill myself. Long dark nights of bandaging my wrists and this is what you get? I know, I'm incredibly selfish. But I also know you're going to be the one holding everyone together now that I'm gone. I know that you have to be the strong one, you always have been. Yeah I was a damn mess but we both had our issues. Josh, make a promise you won't do what I have done. You belong here, you are safe here, I never was.

To my clique: This burns. My chest is aching. I've dissapointed you. I know, i'm a hipocrite. I gave in to the dark parts of my thoughts that I warned you about. You all helped me, you all made my short time on this planet worth while. I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry for leaving you here alone. But remember, you'll always have the memories. You'll always have the poetry, the music, each other. This place was not my home, so don't ever try to blame yourselves for my mistakes. But also, don't try to justify suicide being the answer. It is not. I was weak, I couldn't cope, you made me as strong as I could possibly have been but sooner or later we'll all break. Please, remember me kindly. I know I never deserved you. I never deserved any of it. I was just a broken kid from Ohio.

 


End file.
